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RELATIONSHIPS
The ideas you are about to explore in this section will give you the understanding that you can improve an existing relationship , if you desire, or create a loving relationship with a new mate. We first want to realize that the principles herein are based on the the fact that you must work with the inner mind first before creating a lasting change. Therefore, if you've been experiencing difficulty in lasting relationships, the subconscious mind is your best bet for creating new habit patterns. Out with the old idea that "Oh, this always happens to me" and in with the new idea "I am worthy of a healthy and loving relationship with a mate who loves me as much as I love him/her."
In order to make a relationship improve, I am sure you have reached out many times and told your mate the problem, backed them into a corner and asked them to change to meet your level of expectations. The struggle goes on and soon you have either given up or just dismissed it as a way of life. However, based on the fact that your mate is a mirror reflection of you and you are being treated according to your subconscious patterns, you have the ability to change your relationship life for the better. Reaching out to another only causes frustration because the habit might change for a little while, but reverts right back to the original pattern. The mind is extremely powerful. For this reason, one often leaves a relationship behind and goes immediately on to another and discovers the same behavior in the new one. One way to recognize your patterns is to examine your personal and professional environment. We also have relationships with the people at our jobs.
Now, based on the fact that your mate or even your entire environment is a mirror reflection of you, begin some simple exercises which will prove this fact to you. What you need is to have faith first in the subconscious mind. I used to think that extremely abusive relationships could not be helped, but they can when the individual realizes that they can do something about it from the inside out. The old way does not work. In extreme cases, I do recommend some outside help and even protection. One must work on the pattern as well. Mind you, change does not happen overnight, but hope, inspiration and change will come. Your mind can be your best friend or your worst enemy. A few examples will help you understand this concept.
On the light side, but not any less important, let's say you and your mate are having communication problems. You have reached out and asked for change, but to no avail. Perhaps you notice that the same type of problem is occurring at work. Instead of looking to the outside. look within and begin telling yourself "I communicate easily and comfortably. When I say something to my mate or anyone they are willing to listen because I feel good about myself. I am filled with all of the love of the universe and I express myself in a wonderful way. It is easy for me to be loved by others and I have a wonderful way of making others feel very comfortable with me." Repeat this statement throughout the day and simply reinforce it with "I am divine love". Try just saying "I am Joy" around the office for a few hours. One woman in a class of mine tried saying "I am Joy" for fifteen minutes one day and finally had to quit saying it for a while because her co-workers started getting to joyful!! Seriously, whatever you give energy to multiplies. Putting the energy into improvements from the inside out will create less of a struggle and definitely cause changes that are more permanent.
"I say what I feel with ease and love. I express myself confidently and my relationships to others is improving, getting better all the time. I am loved and filled with peace. When I talk, others listen and respond lovingly."
A more dramatic situation could be an example of an unfaithful spouse. You do know that having an affair is just as painful for the individual having the affair as it is for the one that finds out. The pain is just different. In the first place, your own self esteem is at stake and once your realize that the other person is criticizing you because they want to justify their actions, you can collect your emotions and do some subconscious work on yourself. If a mate is having an affair, they are doing it for more than the fact that they "found somebody else". That affair is, too, a reflection of who they are and will, at some time, find its own balance and revert right back to its original condition. In other words, your unfaithful mate is looking to something outside of themselves to achieve whatever they are searching for (happiness, romance, etc.)
For you, stay focused!! Most importantly, know that you can help yourself through this. I agree, it is not easy to absorb this concept, but the sooner that you do some simple things, you will discover for yourself that you can really make it through this and feel better. First, you are worth it. So do it. Start working on yourself. Physically, if you have let yourself go, get going!! Mentally, begin somewhere, little by little. Say "I am wonderful, I believe in myself and I am a rich child of God and deserve all of the love in the universe. I am loving and willing to be loved." Granted, this is not an easy task, so say it or write it on a card to carry around with you throughout the day even if at first you do not believe it. Just start doing some work internally and you will increase your belief in the fact that "You have a wonderful friend within you that will help you through any situation in life." Make a plan to do something constructive each and every day toward your healing.
What we fear the most comes to us. If for some reason, you have feared having an unfaithful mate, this new concept of looking within will be of great help to erase that fear. Recognize that you are beautiful/handsome inside and out, remind yourself everyday, perhaps several times a day, "I am loved. I am easily loved by others. I am a rich child of a loving Father and have all of the love in the universe."
Some recommended reading is Loving Relationships and I Deserve Love by Sondra Ray. To build confidence in yourself, find your own identity and discover things that really make you happy, those are the things to concentrate on. A good relationship will happen when you have these things developed within yourself.
Choose, if you like, to take the Relationships E-course for complete guidance in improving an existing relationship or creating a new one that is much more fulfilling.
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